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A Few Good Boys of Summer

February 15, 2008

rog.jpgI wish I had put this together, but I didn’t. Hat tip to Born2Run from the Telecaster Discussion Board Re-Issue (TDPRI).

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressman: I think I’m entitled to them.

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressman: I want the truth!

Clemens: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has baseballs. And those balls have to be hit by men with bats. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Congressman? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for steroids and you curse HGH. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that HGH, while illegal, probably sells tickets. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, sells tickets… You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that mound. You need me on that mound. We use words like fastall, slider, splitfinger…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent playing a sport. You use ’em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and falls asleep to the Sportscenter clips I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide them! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a bat and dig in. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Congressman: Did you order the HGH?
Clemens: (quietly) I did the job you sent me to do.
Congressman: Did you order the HGH?

Clemens: You’re Gxxdxxx right I did!!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. The ArachNerd permalink
    February 15, 2008 11:36 am

    Oh that’s classic…

    Funny, yet frighteningly (probably) true!

  2. February 17, 2008 12:48 am

    Busting a gut laughing. I’ll show this to hubby tomorrow. Jen

  3. February 27, 2008 5:00 pm

    That is just to funny . . . I am in tears because of how hard I am laughing.

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