Wow. I’ve been bogged down with an awful lot of busy work lately. Having a two-point charge, CPE, a wife with a large family, three active children, and a partridge in a pear tree can keep a fella running. There have been days lately where there are three places I’m supposed to be at the same time.
So I’m sitting at Annual Conference. I wondered what it would be like to walk into the building given my newfound notoriety. I was aware that with my recent posts I was bringing not peace but a sword – and that has been affirmed. I know there are members of the BoOM who agree with what I have stated, and there are those who disagree with me strongly and may have even been offended by my assertions. I was approached by one member of the board who told me that the Bishop is dedicated to looking critically at the ordination process in our Conference and making the relationship between the board and candidates less adversarial and more helpful.
Thanks be to God.
It is a different experience to walk into Annual Conference without the degree of anonymity I used to enjoy. Oops. Fame (or infamy or notoriety or whatever) has its costs, I suppose. But I’m glad I rocked the boat. A healthier conversation has emerged regarding the troubles candidates have in navigating the obstacles on the course to ordination. Hopefully we can put an end to the dissemination of inaccurate, outdated information and begin to recognize the gifts, graces, life situations and experiences of individual candidates.
I’ve been asked if CPE was a complete rehash of my own experiences. To be honest, it was very much like a refresher course in counseling and pastoral care. It never hurts Albert Pujols to take batting practice or to work with a hitting coach, so it couldn’t hurt me to do more on-the-spot crisis ministry. It was helpful to me in that regard. And I have no doubt that some clergy candidates benefit greatly from the experience of CPE and should be required to take it. I used it as an opportunity to practice the ministry of non-anxoious presence, to hone my “in the moment” prayer verbiage, and to sieze teaching moments with the other residents. And our groups gave me a safe space to complain and moan about my ordination woes. The experience did affirm, however, that I was correct in my appeals to the board. The experience was, to a large degree, redundant for me.
Don’t get me wrong. I liked it. I met tremendous people. I enjoyed learning the ins and outs of the hospital. Two residents were Seventh Day Adventists, and I enjoyed having the opportunity to learn more about their denomination and beliefs.
During the first week I found a quote from Thomas Merton that I held onto for the experience. The quote came from Learning to Love as he reflected upon his personal turmoil regarding his affair late in his life. That quote got me through CPE, and is getting me through being a bit notorious in the big room today.
“Hence, the only thing to do is to take all of it with a good heart and joy, and not fear the pain that must come with it.”
Amen, Brother Thomas, Amen.
The CPE Shuffle has kept me from doing much blogging these days, so let’s get blue. I purchased Los Lobos’ Live at the Fillmore album from Amazon MP3, and in conjunction with a mug of coffee, it makes a great waker-upper for that long drive. Here’s one of the tunes that made me fall in love with the Wolves a long time ago. It’s absolutely timeless, as is all of their music.
Los Lobos bring the heat.
I have begun CPE at Deaconess Hospital in Evansville, Indiana. As I stated in my Skandal-ous Mission post, I submit myself humbly to the process. Putting aside my professional arrogance, I approach this assignment with an open mind and an expectation that God is in the process and that I will learn something valuable. I am committed to being positive about the experience. Bitterness only emphasizes and contributes to my own brokenness.
Let there be no doubt, I still believe that I am entangled in a process that is profoundly broken. I believe that if we are honest, we all believe that it’s broken: students, candidates, members of the BOM, Bishops, and the ordained. All of us would probably like to tear the whole thing apart and rebuild it in our own image (sound Biblically familiar?) But with that in mind, let me offer up just a few suggestions for reform.
- Let’s work together to make the ordination process less complicated than the US Tax Code. The chief complaint I’ve heard from members of the BOM is that the process is so complicated that they can’t understand all of it. If they were to take the time to read and learn the whole binder full of material they would be neglecting other essential aspects of their own ministries in the churches they serve. Clear, concise objectives in plain language would benefit us all.
- Let’s renew a commitment to young clergy. By the time I’m ordained I will have been in the process for seven years – enough time to have gone back to medical school, completed residency, and start a private practice. Or enough time to have gone back to law school, passed the bar, and been in practice for a couple of years. Too many people start the process at an age when they could be considered young clergy, but are too old to be considered such at ordination.
- Let’s look at the reality that the ordination process was designed for people who discerned God’s call upon their lives in their teens or early twenties in light of the current reality that more and more clergy are in their second or third careers.
- Let’s reform the Residence in Ministry program so that the time candidates spend away from their churches and families is productive and goal-directed. Readings and written assignments can be designed to be productive toward completion of the written ordination work outlined in the Discipline and toward ordination interviews. Candidates should be able to set goals targeted at specific areas of ministry (pastoral care, ethics, preaching, administration, etc.) that would then be addressed in RIM retreats.
- Residence in Ministry retreats are good opportunities for candidates and the BOM to develop healthy, non-adverserial working relationships. Greater involvement by more members of the BOM would be a positive development.
- Get laypersons involved in the process. In the North Alabama Conference, Bishop Willimon has brought in laypersons with backgrounds in personnel, which I think is a brilliant move.
These are just a few preliminary thoughts about fixing the problem. What are some of your thoughts?
One of my buddies from seminary, Frank LeBlanc, tagged me with this cool little meme on Facebook. I post my response here for your entertainment.
From David Ensign by way of Bruce Reyes-Chow: “I’ve done the shuffle game (put your Ipod on shuffle and use song titles to answer the questions) and it’s cute and amusing, but clearly created by teenagers with too much time on their hands. So, for preachers (and other theologically minded folks) with too much time on their hands I offer 15 different opportunities for silliness.”
1. In the beginning … God said: “Ophelia” by The Band
2. What Adam thought when he first saw Eve: “Lucky Lou” by Jody Williams (Chess Records blues guitarist)
3. God told Moses the divine name (I am that I am), but what was the divine nickname? “Divine Intervention” by Matthew Sweet
4. Scripture tells us that Moses said, “Here I am” when God spoke, but it fails to record what Moses said under his breath: “The Fields of Athenry” by Charlie Haden Family and Friends
5. What Job really thought about God: “Real Wild Child” by Brian Setzer
6. When Samson woke up and looked in the mirror, he said: “Within You, Without You” by the Beatles
7. God looked upon David, ruddy faced and handsome, and thought: “Moonlight” by Bob Dylan
8. David looked upon Bathsheba and thought: “Little Bitty Record” by Bill Kirchen (this is really funny and wildly inappropriate if you know how that line ends)
9. What I gave up for Lent: “Right In Time” by Lucinda Williams
10. What Jesus really said when Peter tried to walk on water: “Rejoice” by U2
11. From the forgotten Beatitudes: Blessed are those who : “Real Live Bleeding Fingers and Broken Guitar Strings” by Lucinda Williams
12. What Paul meant to say about women: “Danko / Manuel” by Drive-By Truckers
13. A proposed new ordination question or vow: “Precious and Grace” by ZZ Top
14. This really should be a hymn: “Snail Shell” by They Might Be Giants
15. First thing you’ll say upon meeting your maker: “In The Lord’s Arms” by Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals
In previous meme response, I had to use Flickr photos to answer specific questions about myself. The pic in the middle was my response to “celebrity crush,” and I chose Kate Winslet. Ms. Winslet was honored with the Golden Globe and Oscar this season, and I think she deserves it. She’s my favorite current actress, and I admire the way she chooses roles that challenge her as an artist. Her skill and talent make pretty much anything she’s in worth watching.
Kate Winslet
I am a Beatles fanatic. I collect Beatles CDs. Every year or so I watch the Beatles Anthology DVDs in their entirety (not all at once, mind you, but I’ll spend a week or two watching some every day). Their music has always spoken to me since I was ten years old and my grandma bought me The Red Album because I wanted “She Loves You.”
The Red Album
I love me some XM radio. My XM radio was my constant companion when I lived in my little white pickup truck on the road between home and seminary. Since Sirius and XM merged I have fallen in love with Little Steven’s Underground Garage. Great station. 50 years old or 50 minutes old, if it’s cool we’ll play it!
Inno
The current “coolest song in the world” on Underground Garage is “Kate Winslet” by the Silver Brazilians. It sounds just like the early Beatles, from the same session that produced their cover of “Dizzy Miss Lizzie.” It’s a funny song about how Kate looks better with a little weight on her, a sentiment with which I agree.
Go to the Silver Brazilians’ MySpace page and check out the song (it’s currently the second one on their player). Then go to Amazon and buy it for $0.89, and listen to those glorious two minutes of pop bliss over and over and over.
And that’s how my favorite radio station introduced me to my new favorites song, which pays musical tribute to my favorite band and lyrical tribute to my favorite actress!
Of all the blues artists I admire, I think Muddy is #1. I keep going back to his music again and again, and it speaks to my soul deeply.
This is one of my favorites. It resonates with my bummed-out, Ecclesiastes, neo-orthodox side.
My brother and I used to hang out in a room that our family called “the room.” The room was converted from a garage to a sort of family entertainment room. We thought it was awesome. One entire wall was (and still is) bookshelves. Though our parents hardly ever drank there was a bar with stemmed glasses hanging above. The stereo was installed in the bookshelves and large speakers were mounted in the corners.
Here are some YouTube videos of a few of the songs on heavy rotation from our 45 collection. (45s, for you whippersnappers out there, were 7″ vinyl records, often referred to as “singles,” because there was a single song on each side. The record spun at 45 revolutions per minute, hence the name 45).
Level 42 – Something About You. (embedding disabled). You are probably all familiar with this song. It was possibly the first song to make me take notice of the bass guitar, and Mark King still makes me want to be a better bassist.
Chris De Burgh – Don’t Pay the Ferryman. (embedding disabled). I liked the creepiness of this song and video. This song is the reason I can forgive De Burgh for “The Lady In Red.”
Re-Flex – The Politics of Dancing. I bought this 45 because Re-Flex opened for the Police when I saw them at SIU Arena on the Synchronicity tour. This song reminds me of The Fixx.
Martin Briley – The Salt In My Tears. A great break-up song if I ever heard one.
And another familiar one to play us out. SCIENCE!
My brother Scott’s favorite band of all time is the U2. I love the U2. I enjoy listening to the U2 on the CDs and looking them up on the YouTubes. His Friday Five this week is his favorite U2 songs, and I have to agree with his list; it’s a good one.
U2 aren’t my favorite band, but they are way, way up there. Ask me my favorite U2 song and the answer might change from day to day, but the answer I’ll give you most often is the live version of Bad from the Wide Awake in America EP. The original version from The Unforgettable Fire is great, but there was always something about that live version that got to me. There’s a little extra drama, a little more energy, and something just special about this live version. In hindsight I think it shows a band transitioning from ordinary greatness toward greatness of historical proportion. They were clearly reaching for a peak and hungry for something great.
In my mind they reached their peak with Achtung Baby. That CD still sounds like it could be their new one. It’s as fresh and exciting now as it was on its release date. Everything since (and I will include what I think are their weakest efforts, Zooropa and Pop) has been great, but Achtung was epic.
For now, though, enjoy my favorite version of my favorite U2 song.
My blog stats hit a huge peak when I began verbalizing my frustration with both my own ordination process and the UMC process as a whole.
M is for Mad Methodist
The stats took a deep dip on Sunday – possibly because preachers don’t read the blogs much on Sunday. My previous stats for the month were really low, probably because I hadn’t posted anything for a while.
But when it comes to ordination in the UMC, my stance is clear: I believe that the ordination process is overly long, tedious, and cookie-cutter in nature. By imposing a rigid checklist of requirements with little to no regard for the individual strengths and growing edges of candidates, the church is hamstringing itself. One of my dearest pastor friends has served on the Cabinet as well as the BoOM, and he insists that what the UMC puts ordination candidates through is actually counterproductive. I agree.
I don’t think that the process should be easy by any means. I understand the need for the board to witness a worship service, and it ought to be a good one with a very well-prepared sermon and unifying liturgy. Our written work should reflect academic rigor, careful consideration of the congregation’s particularities, and a pastoral heart. There is no question that all of the above should reflect deep theological commitment, passion and growth. And the expectations of getting that stuff handed in on time are not unrealistic.
But without question some pieces are counterproductive as well. I do believe that Residence In Ministry retreats on a regular basis are a great idea. Through the RIM program I have developed close bonds with several members of my ordination class. Such bonding strengthens the connexion. I rather enjoyed working through the Spiritual Gifts piece with my peers, as it gave interesting insights into how we can use our strengths and deficits to the church’s advantage for the benefit of the Gospel. I do take issue, however, with case studies that rehash the seminary/CPE experience. I take issue with time spent ignoring the actual ordination process – how to complete the tasks that no one else teaches us (maintaining church rolls properly, filling out Charge Conference forms, deciphering annual statistical reports, etc.) Mock ordination interviews with members or former members of the board would be productive. Promoting Conference programming (which invariably costs money) to a group of people who are already up to their eyeballs in student loans while working in somr of the lowest-paying churches in the Conference, however, is clearly counterproductive.
And kids, you can’t find a CPE program just anywhere. In Illinois you’re probably okay if you live in St. Louis Metro East, Chicago, Springfield or Peoria. Get south of there, however, and you’re looking at a drive – which means significant time away from your ministry and your family. One can only imagine how pleasant it is to serve churches who resent you for being gone to CPE only to come home to a spouse who also resents your absence. That’s not suffering for the sake of the Gospel – that’s suffering for the sake of the board. It’s a lot of time away, a lot of gas and wear and tear on the car, too many unhealthy fast-food meals, and the kind of test no marriage should have to go through.
I agree that we have to keep thieves, embezzlers and sex offenders out. I agree that we need to filter out the folks who are in pastoral ministry for all the wrong reasons. The last thing we need is more pastors who are either so in love with the seminary experience that they want to keep reliving it, or who see fit to just forget all that seminary crap and go preach.
But we also need a system that supports our pastors, so that the best of our prophetic voices call out for deep and lasting holiness and social justice rather than rail against the bureaucracies and injustices present in our own ecclesial structure.
In short, I think we need to throw out the whole process and start over. We need to have a denomination-wide discussion of what ordination means in a large denomination comprised mainly of small churches. We need to have a discussion centered upon how best to equip a generation of leaders for spreading the good news of Jesus Christ and God’s vision for the future of this world in the 21st century.
Of course, that assertion is predicated on the possibly mistaken assumption that the UMC wants dynamic young leaders in the first place. Oh, we know we need ‘em. Just not sure we want ‘em.
Then again, I’ve been wrong before.
