I’m a people pleaser.  There’s no good way around it.  I don’t like conflict and I like for people to like me.

So when I was approached this summer to be the Spiritual Director for the Walk to Emmaus women’s fall walk, I couldn’t say no.  I just couldn’t.  Even though fall is a tremendously busy time for me.  I have to get ready for all this ordination jazz.  I’ve got kids playing sports.  And it’s smack in the middle of Charge Conference season.  Not to mention that I took my vacation in the summer, then promptly came home and had the flu run through my family, one member at a time.

I love the Walk to Emmaus.  My own call to ministry was affirmed during my walk, and the times I have served as assistant spiritual director have been very, very rewarding.  In particular I love working the women’s walks.  Formation meetings with women are always fun because the women are generally pragmatic, constructively critical and open.  Men’s formation meetings very often involve the men previewing their talks and the other men in the room responding like Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer.  (“Yep.”  ”Yeah.”  ”Yup.”  ”Yep.”)

But being the SD is a lot of work!  Getting other clergy to join in is difficult, especially when they’ve mastered the art at which I am a novice – saying no.

But I’ve got to learn.  My wife told me, “You ever volunteer to work a walk in the fall again, I’ll kill you.”  And she’s right – Fall is just too busy.  And while Spring walks fall in the middle of my children’s birthday season, Spring is just a better choice for me.

And yet, in spite of all my shortcomings and the naked exposure of my growing edges in this process, the Walk was rewarding and fulfilling.  I made new friends.  I renewed old friendships.  I prayed with new people and with people I hadn’t seen in a very long time.   I saw God at work in the lives of women as plainly as I could see the rainclouds riding on the wind.  I saw a woman engaged deeply in the process of letting go of bitterness she had clung to for nearly twenty years.  I cried silently.  I laughed heartily and deeply.  I smiled to my core.  I missed my wife, my kids, my puppy.  I praised God.

I experienced grace.

And I learned something about myself.  I learned that it is okay to say no when I need to.  I kept my commitment and I was rewarded richly, but I would have been equally blessed had I said no.

Sometimes we have to be reminded to love our neighbors as we love ourselves – I want my neighbors to be as blessed as I am.  I want my neighbors to have the same quality healthcare and civil rights that I have.  I want my neighbors to have fewer worries and more joy.  But we also need to be reminded to love ourselves as we love our neighbors.  Just as I don’t want my neighbors to overwork themselves and to take good care of themselves, I should want the same for myself.  I need to be more intentional about self-care.

Little Egypt Walk to Emmaus #38 would have gone on wonderfully without me.  I am grateful that I served.  I am grateful that I said yes.  And I am grateful that I learned the necessity of saying no when I need to.

We were standing in the kitchen and my wife looked me in the eye.  “You’re in love, aren’t you?”

I broke eye contact.  I had to admit it.  “Yes.”

She smiled and let out a little laugh.  “I knew it!”

It’s true.  I have fallen in love, and I’m not ashamed to say it.  Yadi the Wonder Puppy has stolen my heart.

A couple of weeks ago our family was doing some outside work – weeding the landscaping, rearranging the garage.  And we discovered the most adorable puppy we had ever seen.  Okay, every new puppy is the most adorable one you’ve ever seen.  He looked really hungry and shy.  He found a little cove between some boxes in the garage and watched my family as we swept and hung hooks and rearranged containers.  He made his way to the back yard where Ogre the Extremely Hyper Lab mix (who howls back at the trains at night) shared his food and water, and wrestled and played a while.

Was he a neighbor’s pup?  A stray?  Did someone dump him?  We don’t really know.  What we do know is that the next day, Saturday, he hung around our yard again.  And on Sunday he greeted everyone next door at church.  The ladies in the nursery brought him upstairs and let the kids play with him.  And after church Katy decided he could come into the house.

And I fell for him.  So did the whole family.

We decided to name him Yadi after Yadier Molina, the St. Louis Cardinals All-Star Gold Glove catcher.  We are big Cards fans in this house, and we especially love Yadier Molina.  Both of our boys spend lots of time behind the plate in catcher’s gear, so they love trying to learn how to pick off base runners by watching the best in the business.  Also, the name Yadier has a Hebrew root meaning friend or companion.  Could there be a better meaning for a doggie’s name?

Nobody has come looking for him to claim him.  There are no “missing puppy” signs in the neighborhood.  And make no mistake – he’s ours.  Actually, given the way he hung around for three days before we made a decision I think he adopted us.  If anyone comes looking for him now they can’t have him back.

Well, we’ve taken him to the vet and got his first round of puppy shots.  He’s about 10 weeks old now and already weighs over 19 pounds. I taught him to sit and to lie down on command.  Our older son is working on “stay,” which is working out very well.  Our younger son loves to take him on his daily walk.  He’s housebreaking quite well – we’re using a crate method and he’s doing great with very few accidents.  He’s clearly a very intelligent puppy.

As he gets bigger he gets more of a German Shepherd look, which is bittersweet for me.  When I was in 7th grade my art teacher gave me a German Shepherd pup who only lived for a few weeks.  I loved that pup, and I was the one who found him dead.  I was devastated.  Since then I’ve always admired German Shepherds but I was always reminded of the heartbreak that I experienced with Zeus.  So maybe that experience has predisposed me to fall hard for Yadi.

Last night as Katy and I were getting a few essentials at the store for our vacation we passed by the pet supplies.  I stopped at dog toys and said, “Yadi stuff!”  (I can’t go to the store without at least looking at Yadi stuff).  She said, “You’re going to miss that dawg more than you’ll miss the kids!”  Not true, but I will miss him.  And when we get back I’m sure he will look huge to us.  He has gained more than four pounds over the last week, and he still looks lean.

I’ve fallen in love with a puppy.  He’s my babydog.  Before long I’m sure he’ll be a 120-pound lap dog.  And I’ll love every minute of it.

Yadi after bathtime

In previous meme response, I had to use Flickr photos to answer specific questions about myself.  The pic in the middle was my response to “celebrity crush,” and I chose Kate Winslet.  Ms. Winslet was honored with the Golden Globe and Oscar this season, and I think she deserves it.  She’s my favorite current actress, and I admire the way she chooses roles that challenge her as an artist.  Her skill and talent make pretty much anything she’s in worth watching.

Kate Winslet

I am a Beatles fanatic.  I collect Beatles CDs.  Every year or so I watch the Beatles Anthology DVDs in their entirety (not all at once, mind you, but I’ll spend a week or two watching some every day).  Their music has always spoken to me since I was ten years old and my grandma bought me The Red Album because I wanted “She Loves You.”

The Red Album

I love me some XM radio.  My XM radio was my constant companion when I lived in my little white pickup truck on the road between home and seminary.  Since Sirius and XM merged I have fallen in love with Little Steven’s Underground Garage.  Great station.  50 years old or 50 minutes old, if it’s cool we’ll play it!

Inno

The current “coolest song in the world” on Underground Garage is “Kate Winslet” by the Silver Brazilians.  It sounds just like the early Beatles, from the same session that produced their cover of “Dizzy Miss Lizzie.”  It’s a funny song about how Kate looks better with a little weight on her, a sentiment with which I agree.

Go to the Silver Brazilians’ MySpace page and check out the song (it’s currently the second one on their player).  Then go to Amazon and buy it for $0.89, and listen to those glorious two minutes of pop bliss over and over and over.

And that’s how my favorite radio station introduced me to my new favorites song, which pays musical tribute to my favorite band and lyrical tribute to my favorite actress!

Google Earth is awesome.  I have been looking at some potential vacation spots for Katy and me, since our 20th anniversary is coming up this August.

This week there has been some controversy as to whether the lost city of Atlantis was discovered by Google Earth when they added ocean floor imagery to the newest update.

My question (and I’m sure others around the country have the same question) is this:  why do we have such awesome images of the ocean floor while so much of southern Illinois looks like it was shot through frosted glass?

I can't see your house from here!

Taking a page from Tripp Fuller, a Baptist blogger with whom I agree more often than not, I’m going to make some New Year’s resolutions.  Tripp’s ideas are good ones so I’m going to modify them for myself in order to be conversant with his blog and intentional about my own.

First, the personal resolution: exercise.  I’ve lost a ton of weight but I really need to get into shape.  Not because I want to look good, but because I have low HDL cholesterol – which is a risk factor for heart problems.  I really need to build some muscle mass and bring that HDL up – and exercise is really the only reliable way.

Second, the Church resolution: EPIC preaching.   When I preached on Mary and Joseph presenting baby Jesus in the temple, I focused on Simeon’s words, “for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the presence of all peoples…”  I was struck with the image of a Japanese hibachi restaurant where the food is prepared in the presence of all who sit around it, and that a true worship experience is to sense God’s salvation cooked up in the presence of the people.  I want our worship to be more Experiential, Participatory, Image-rich, and Connective (to borrow Len Sweet’s formula, which is a good one).

And finally, the Blog resolutions.  Tripp lists these four ideas, which I think are good ones:

1. Question of the Year: What is Religion?
2. Gospel of the Year: Matthew
3. Theologian of the Year: Paul Tillich
4. Doctrine of the Year: Ecclesiology

So here’s my list:

1. Question of the Year: What is Worship?
2. Gospel of the Year: Matthew (hey, it’s Year B!)
3. Theologian of the Year: John Cobb (I’ve got some Cobb I haven’t read, and this should be good motivation).
4. Doctrine of the Year: the Trinity

So if I post, like Tripp, on each of those four questions twenty times in 2009 I should have eighty worthwhile blog posts.

Hopefully I can get around to adapting 12 songs  (or even collections of verses) by the Wesleys with new original music.  One per month should be doable.

And maybe I will succeed with RPM ‘09 (I failed in “08, but I got a couple of good songs out of it!) Oh crap, that’s in like a month!

I’ll continue playing Friday Five games and blogging about good CDs and musical discoveries.